Knock knock.
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow! I didn't know you could yodel.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Tank!
Tank who?
You're welcome!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry. It's only a joke.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Witches!
Witches who?
Witches the way to go home?

"Doctor! Doctor! Please help me. Everyone keeps ignoring me."
"Next please."

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
He couldn't control his pupils!

riddles...
Q: What happened when 500 hares got loose on the main street?
A: The police had to comb the area.
Q: What happens once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in two thousand years?
A: The letter M.
Q: What begins with T ends with T and is filled with tea?
A: A Tea poT!
Q: Why is it so hot after a ball game?
A: Because all the fans leave.
Q: There are many castles in the world, but who is strong enough to move one?
A: Any chess player.
Q: How do you find a princess?
A: You follow the foot prince.
Q: When is a door not a door?
A: When its a'jar.
Q: Why did the man throw the clock out the window?
A: To see time fly!
Q: What's a quick way to double your money?
A: YOU FOLD IT!
Q: What can run but can't walk?
A: A drop of water.
Q: Who sits on babies?
A: A babysitter.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy!
Q: What's a car with music coming out of it?
A: A cartoon.
Q: Why did the man sleep with a ruler?
A: To see how long he could sleep.
Q: Why did the girl throw the clock out the window?
A: Because she wanted to see time fly!
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: Meet you at the corner!
Q: Why did the girl eat her homework?
A: Because the teacher told her it was a piece of cake!
Q: What do you get when you cross 2 banana peels?
A: A pair of slippers!
Q: What's black white and red all over?
A: A newspaper.
Q: What is the richest kind of air?
A: Millionaire.
Q: What do you get when you buy a 50 cent soda with a dollar?
A: 50 cents change!
Q: Why did everyone at the party like Mr. Mushroom?
A: Because he was a fungi!  (pronounced "fun guy"...get it?)
Q: How did Ben Franklin discover electricity?
A: It came to him in a flash.
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Mine!
Q: Why did the million year old mummy go to the teachers and parents meeting?
A: Because she heard it was for mummies.
Q: Why did Silly Billy sit on a clock?
A: Because he wanted to be on time!
Q: Where did the fortune teller go on her vacation?
A: To Palm Beach.
Q: Why did the blonde cross the window?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why do people sit on chairs?
A: Because they're chairful!
Q: What kind of snake is good at math?
A: An adder.
Q: What do you call a boy mermaid?
A: A merdude!
Q: What do you call a witch that lives on the beach?
A: A sandwitch.
Q: What day do fish hate?
A: Fry-day.
Q: What's green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.
Q: Where do hamsters come from?
A: Hamsterdam.
Q: What is a vampire's favourite bank?
A: A blood bank!
Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: "Unique" up on him! and...
Q: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: The "tame" way!